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Modern Love: For Best Hookup Results, Use Your Words, O.K.?

Advertisement I had invited him over only for sex, so when I woke the next morning to the sight of him putting on his pants, I said, “Do you need me to walk you out?” “No, I’m just going to use the bathroom,” he said. “I’d like to stay, if that’s O.K.” And it was. So he stayed for the rest of the day, never more than a few inches from me. We left the room only to use the bathroom or to shuffle to the kitchen for snacks. Meanwhile,…

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Rex Reed Bangs a Gong on the Mediocrity of Modern Life

Advertisement “That’s me with Larry Olivier,” said Rex Reed, reaching for a black-and-white photo in a silver frame in his eighth-floor apartment in the Dakota on a recent chilly Tuesday afternoon. The photo was taken on the set of “Inchon,” a 1981 Korean War thriller. Looking dashing with his raven hair and Elvis cheekbones, Mr. Reed, then at the height of his fame as a journalist and television personality, played a music critic stuck in a war zone; Mr. Olivier — Laurence to most of us — played Gen. Douglas…

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Modern Love: How 30 Blocks Became 30 Years

Advertisement When Mary Lois and I started our relationship on that humid night in Stamford, Conn., we may not have expected it to last. After all, I was unable to scratch my own nose, let alone walk. And she was three years older than me and far more independent. I asked if I could kiss her. I had to ask because I couldn’t lean in on my own; my body doesn’t work that way. So she leaned in and kissed me as I had never been kissed before. “You were…

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Modern Love: Love Calls, and So Does the Priesthood

Advertisement I met the priest, or rather the man hoping to become one, in a stationery shop in SoHo where I worked. After a few flirtatious interactions over pencils, he gave me a handwritten letter asking if I would like to go for a walk. My co-worker acknowledged his handsomeness, joking that the only possible obstacle would be if he were religious. On my stroll with him along the High Line a few days later, I brought up my co-worker’s comment, believing this to be an opportunity to flash my…

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Modern Love: 10 Ways to Love Better

Advertisement Readers of Modern Love may want a good story, but they’re also hungry for advice that can help them navigate the baffling world of relationships. Every year, our most popular essays offer lessons on how to find love or keep it — tips, rules and surprising strategies. This year’s most-read columns delivered wisdom about living with a slob, exposing your vulnerabilities, finding the silver lining in breakups and more. Here’s a sampling of what they seem to suggest, whether subtly or directly, humorously or tragically. May you be a…

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Modern Love: Shooing Carolers Away for a Love That Stays

Advertisement My parents, roommate and I could hear carolers down the hallway. “Deck the Halls” shook me out of the haze that had kept me floating above myself in bed, disengaged from a body that was 22 pounds lighter than when I had started chemotherapy weeks before. Eventually the carolers would reach my room, but I was more drawn to the view from my window. I liked staring out at the healthy world’s layers so as not to forget my place in them — a street, a garden inside a…

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